Events

Aussies are ditching black, hymns and boring farewells

Australians are being encouraged to rethink death, with digital legacy platform My TAP® calling for people to have greater control over how they are remembered.

My TAP®, which stands for My Time and Place, was founded by Isla George and Lisa Wendland, who believe too many funerals bear little resemblance to the person they celebrate.

Instead, funerals often become traditional ceremonies that fail to capture the personality, humour, passions and individuality of the person who has died.

Ms George said Australians spend their lives making choices yet often surrender control over how they are farewelled.

“Going to a funeral can sometimes feel more confronting than death itself because so many funerals are predictable, formal and devoid of personality,” she said.

“Too often they become ceremonial theatre, following the same script, music and traditions, regardless of what the person wanted.

“We believe every Australian deserves the opportunity to design their own farewell, just as they designed their own life.”

Ms George said many people would choose differently if they knew they could.

“Some people would rather have a barbecue on the beach than a church service,” she said.

“Others would want rock music instead of hymns, colourful clothing instead of black, laughter instead of silence, or a celebration surrounded by fishing rods, motorbikes, surfboards or family recipes.

“Your farewell should reflect your life, not somebody else’s expectations.”

Ms Wendland said one of the greatest burdens families face after losing someone is not knowing what that person wanted.

“Families are often forced to make dozens of decisions while grieving,” she said.

“They’re trying to guess what Mum or Dad would have wanted, often relying on conversations from years earlier if they happened at all.

“That uncertainty can create stress, conflict, guilt and disagreements that families carry for years.”

Ms Wendland said those experiences inspired My TAP®.

“It was created because we wanted to give people their voice back,” she said.

“It’s about much more than recording funeral wishes. It allows people to decide how they want to be remembered, what stories they want told, what music they want played, who should speak and what messages their family should hear.”

The Australian-developed platform allows users to securely record funeral wishes, life stories, memories, personal messages, sentimental possessions and important information, ensuring loved ones are guided by certainty rather than guesswork.

Unlike traditional planning documents, My TAP® can be updated as circumstances, relationships and wishes evolve.

Ms George said Australians personalise weddings, birthdays, homes and careers, yet many leave one of life’s most significant moments to chance.

“So why do we accept that our farewell should be decided by default?” she said. “It’s time to help people reclaim the right to write their own final chapter.”

Ms Wendland said planning a farewell should not be viewed as morbid.

“It’s one of the greatest acts of love you can leave behind,” she said.

“When families know exactly what you wanted, they stop worrying about making the right decisions. They’re free to celebrate your life exactly as you hoped.”